


En Pointe

by FrogFacey



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, F/F, Meteorstuck, still figuring out how to write for Rose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 08:00:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16363976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrogFacey/pseuds/FrogFacey
Summary: Apparently there's right and wrong ways to feel closer to deceased family.





	En Pointe

_Toes pointing outwards, heels together, elbows bent, hands facing._

 

The stretch brought an uncomfortable but not unwelcome sting up her calves. Rose expected it, she hadn't actually danced since she little.

Not since a particularly rude teacher crushed her dreams of becoming a prima ballerina and left her crying into equally as crushed velvet upholstery.

 

_Feet slide apart, arms extend to the side._

 

It surprised her that she was even able to remember what any of the steps were, considering she was a literal child and things before age ten were only just a little bit fuzzy. Faces were fuzzy too, she could remember everything except the faces.

 

_Left arm stays, right arm up, heels back together, right foot in front._

 

Perhaps she could alchemise one of those ballet mats, the bright pink kind she used to have. Her Mother bought it for her, she guessed it had something to do with a failed career, living vicariously through her own offspring.

A scientist trying to be a ballerina. Ha. Not to mention a scientist with a certain vice for drinking. Who could possibly be dainty while intoxicated?

Ah yes, here comes the bile.

 

_Left foot slides backwards, left arm bends inwards._

 

It was only when she was alone that she had time to think, really think. Without the stress of trying to come up with plans, trying to keep everyone alive, looking for her Mum.

Faces.

There was the dark lipstick sure, the eyeliner and the hair, always prim and perfect. But she just couldn’t remember-

 

_Right foot stays in front, heel fits into the crevice of the left foot, hands raise above the head._

 

Behind her the door opened, “Rose.”

“Dave.” She answered.

“I thought you hated ballet?”

“I do.”

“So why the fuck are you subjecting yourself to rhythmic torture?”

Maybe it's just the kind of passive aggressive sneer she needed. Maybe her Mum will raise from the dead and hand her a pretty pink sequined tutu, prettier than all the the ones the other girls had.

Hell she’d probably get her a little tiara too, or a private tutor.

 

_Smile Rosie, no one wants a sad ballerina._

 

“I’m bored.” She said instead, shrugging, “What’s a better way to burn time than reliving childhood memories and striking a match back into the almost long forgotten kindling.”

“I’m guessing in this sense the kindling represents buried hatred?” Dave was still behind her.

“You guess correct. For my dance teacher in particular.” And her Mother for subjecting her to the intense routine and order a young aspiring dancer is exposed to. One could almost call it body horror.

“Was your dance teacher the problem or where you the terrible tot?” Dave asked, she could hear the smirk.

Too close.

“You have no idea.” Rose grinned, sickeningly, “Have you ever seen the working conditions for prima ballerinas? I doubt I’d last long, the police will find me collapsed under my vanity mirror.”

“Too much face powder, the police will think it was a brush with the illicit.” 

“Perhaps it was.” Rose shrugged again, “But the instructor wouldn't be caught dead saying that.”

“Let me guess,” He walked casually into her field of vision, “You were framed?”

“That's what the academy is determined to prove, yes.”

 

_Toes pointing outwards, heels together, elbows bent, hands facing. Back to first position._

 

“Do you want to do something not so gut wrenchingly childhood memory-y?”

But that's why she was doing it “Like what?”

“Well Terezi and I just managed to set up some prime earthly gaming, we've dragged Karkat in on it too.” 

 

_Second position._

 

“I think this is a perfect waste of my time, be sure to pass Terezi a 'Thanks for the offer’ from me though, thank you.” She wobbled a little, but pretended not to notice.

“But who the fuck spends their time in space dancing? We're not nearly poetic enough for that bullshit.”

This was methodical, repetitive, simple-

Spiteful.

She was fine with this, really.

“I'm alright Dave.”

 

_Third position._

 

“Rose.” A sigh, what Rose damn near expected to be a pinch to the bridge of his nose.

God just like her Mother.

 

_Fourth position._

 

“You hate ballet.” He said again.

You hate ballet? Her mother asked.

She was drunk, she didn't expect her to remember, she just wanted to-

“And I know that because of your hour long conversation about it. Do you remember that, Rose? I remember that. An hour of you whining about the arts. I didn't think it was physically possible to whine via text but you proved the masses wrong.”

She hung the ballet shoes up on the wall, next to a gold framed picture of her first recital, all of the little girls dressed up like bumblebees. Her dance instructor said she was too rowdy, kept picking fights with the other girls.

But she was angry, she was angry because of her Mother right? The fact that that her search history included things like “How does one care for a drunken parent?”

Voice level, calm them, don't let them do anything they'd regret.

“I'm fine.” Not angry, not sad, level. She was enjoying herself.

“Oh my god.” Dave's eyebrows did the thing they did whenever he rolled his eyes. She couldn't tell through the fucking glasses. Whatever, she knew what she needed about him to tell what he was thinking anyway, she was good at that.

She was good at ballet too, until she quit and busied herself by staying at home. It had been a distraction.

“You're going to fall over.” Dave chuckled at her, fucking chuckled.

She wobbled again, apparently just to prove his point.

“Am not.” Level, not angry. You can't be angry, Rose.

“How long have you been contorting your legs like that anyway? Is this another one if those times where you do something for two hours and then come say you were gone for three minutes?”

“I am in perfect control I'll have you know. This is not mama's first rodeo.”

“Whatever,” suddenly Dave was gone, back to looming behind her, “Have fun with bodily torture.”

 

_Fifth position._

 

A crash, the sudden sting of the cold, metal ground against her arms.

“Oh shit.” Dave was quiet, “Okay fuck I'll...I'll get Kanaya?”

Oh right, Dave didn't know how to deal with things like this. That's fine, her Mum didn't either. She was only ever emotional or eerily quiet, she was used to it.

She was fine.

And she wasn't fucking crying.

Dave was gone, Rose didn't move.

She stayed where she was and waited, waited to hear the clunking of dumb metal shoes down the hallway, waited to hear Kanaya's anxious chittering she was still convinced didn't actually exist.

She rolled over, facing the ceiling now, able to breathe properly.

 

_Smile Rose, wave to the people. You gotta be sweet and delicate though._

 

It was so planned, so little room for error, how could she-

Tap tap tap. She could hear Kanaya's quick footsteps. She towered over everyone, she had no need to walk with long strides.

“Rose.” She heard from the door, her gaze was more focused on the roof, more specifically whatever that stain was to the left.

Kanaya huffed, Rose knew that sound.

“I'm completely sober.” Calm, composed, level.

“Right.”

Rose nodded again, “I am in control of everything Kanaya, you don’t have to bother yourself with me.”

She nodded and crossed her arms, “Which explains why you’re currently placed in the middle of the floor. Quite frankly I don’t believe you Rose.”

Oh god not her too, “I haven’t had anything-”

“You’re not alright Rose.”

How had no one noticed yet? She wasn’t in any trouble, she was completely and utterly fine. What was everyone so worried about? What could have Dave possibly said?

“I’m alright, Kanaya.” Her voice was shakier than she’d wanted it to be, it wasn’t a very convincing statement like that, god fucking dammit Rose you-

“Dave told me about everything he knew about the current situation and I’m sorry Rose but you can’t keep saying that. I know I’ve rarely seen you get like this and I know I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing and I apologize, I really do but darling,”

It sat wrong on her tongue, she was still getting used to it, but she was doing it for _her_.

“Something is wrong and I’m determined to find out what.”

She sat down next to her, crossing her legs and placing her chin in her hands.

 

_C’mon Rosie, you know the steps, you can do it._

 

“I remember everything,” Why was her voice wavering? She’d had thirteen years of fucking practice, “There isn’t actually that much to remember, it’s just foot placement really, I shouldn’t have to think.”

“So you’re upset because the dance isn’t working?” Kanaya asked, tilting her head to the side.

No. No there was so much more, it spiraled and twisted and mangled at the ends, it could never be that simple could it?

“I don’t have to plan out anything, it’s all there in front of me.” Her mouth closed before she could say anything else.

“Oh Rose.” She let herself be scooped up into Kanaya’s arms, let her head be pressed into her chest, let her hears be filled with her very distinct rumbles of affection. Something about pity, if her memory served her right, which it probably didn’t, “Oh Rose.”

She didn’t say anything else, just thought.

Kanaya sat her on her lap, her hand tangling in her hair, the other running along her shoulder. She closed her eyes and sighed.

 

_Again Rose, you can do it. You know the whole dance, you can’t possibly have forgotten it in a night._

 

She lifted her hand up lazily, running it along Kanaya’s cheek, she chirred quietly in response. She wrapped her arms around her, not looking up from the damp spot she’d made on her shirt once, that was not something she was going to face just yet. Instead she held her closer, holding onto whatever warmth she had.

 

_Back to first position._


End file.
